Monday, February 23, 2015

A Rite of Passage - Leon's christening day

Sunday was Leon’s christening day.

A rite of passage is a ceremony that marks the transition from one phase of life to another. This was a celebration of the birth and beginning of life for Leon.

It was an official welcoming to the world, and an introduction into the local community. This tradition is observed in most communities all over the world, irrespective of belief systems. It’s a tradition much older than known religions. It’s a reason for family and friends to come together to celebrate a new life.

Big brother Helmer was King of the Day!

It was a beautiful, but bittersweet day for me since Sigve and Geir Espen were not here to celebrate with us. I know they probably watched and took part from whatever dimension they now exists in, but the pain of missing them is excruciating, and even in the middle of my flock, the loneliness without Sigve is palpable.

The day had dual meaning for me. I am in the middle of my own transition. My status in society, and in my personal life, has changed from being a wife to being a widdow. I am trying to build a life on this new foundation. I am trying to learn how to live without Sigve by my side.  

Monday, February 2, 2015

Until death would part us

We were two individuals.

Rooted, confident, independent.
We kept approaching,
approaching and approaching.
It took many ”first sights”
before love came into the picture,
until eventually that day came
when we allowed ourselves
the luxury of saying
”I love you”

We loved each other.
There was no doubt.
There was no doubt
there was a future for us.
Together, we were so strong.
We were so together.
We were not ”I” and ”I” any more.
It would always be ”us” from now on.
Until death would part us.

Together, and between us,
we created life.
Two beautiful children
sprang from our love.
They flourished and grew
in age and wisdom.
How we loved them!
We kept them close
so they could become
rooted, confident, independent.
How we loved them!
The fruits of our love.

We grew too, in age,
and hopefully in wisdom.
We aged, and planned to
continue to age

Then the unthinkable day came.
we had to start grieving together.
So totally unthinkable.
Death did not yet part you and I,
but death parted us from 
our love son.
So unthinkable and so unbearable.

In the midst of all the unthinkable,
we were still together
to share that unbearable grief.
Together we managed to bear the unbearable
because we reminded eachother that he was loved.
Oh, so loved!

Our remaining love daughter,
with her own sibling grief,
became our rock and support.

Two grandsons joined us.
Even before they arrived
they were the apple of our eyes.
How we loved them,
our prides and joys.

Much too soon,
the next unthinkable day came.
I had to say goodbye to you,
the love of my life 
when death came barging in and said,
your contract is fulfilled,
I have to part you.
Again it was unthinkable and unbearable.
We had planned to grow old together!
But there is no arguing with death.

That afternoon
you drew your last breath,
and then you were on the other side,
where I could not follow.
We, who for 34 years
had been together through thick and thin,
were no longer together.

I am left here - alone.
Our love daughter 
with her own daddy grief,
is still my rock and support.
Oh, how we loved you,
and how I continue to love you!
Our grandsons are still my pride and joy.
How I love them!

But a large part of this grief is only mine.
You will forever remain 
in this torn apart heart of mine.

You, the love of my life.

* * * * * * * * *

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