tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73447081095197471512024-03-13T15:59:46.762+01:00Journey to lifeInger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.comBlogger104125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-2248532741187110632017-12-24T11:46:00.000+01:002017-12-24T12:34:26.512+01:00Grief<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Grief is a journey
that is <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">yours alone <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Never let anyone say<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I know how you feel,
or<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It’s time to get over
it, <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">or even<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You will get over it<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It stays with you <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You learn to live
with it, and<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNoteLevel1CxSpLast" style="margin-left: 0cm; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: 0cm;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sometimes life is
livable, and<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US">Sometimes it is unbearable</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US">So even though I'll have a wonderful time with my family this evening,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US">holidays suck. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bsNw_B3aTGw/Wj-FLJunPJI/AAAAAAAANao/rmRuV5flaRIcyLFWxqlDMM8vzz0ZX-goACKgBGAs/s1600/8%2BDSC_4426.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-bsNw_B3aTGw/Wj-FLJunPJI/AAAAAAAANao/rmRuV5flaRIcyLFWxqlDMM8vzz0ZX-goACKgBGAs/s320/8%2BDSC_4426.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-4425177337004392022017-04-22T23:45:00.002+02:002017-04-23T00:06:29.193+02:00The strength to carry on<div style="text-align: justify;">
People keep telling me that I am strong. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have to admit that I have always considered myself a strong person. But in my former belief system the accepted idea was that you are GIVEN the strength you need, when you needed it.<br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So I used to believe in something outside of me. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I used to think that I was never enough. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
But since then I have learned that I am. </div>
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I am me.</div>
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I am enough. </div>
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All I will ever need is already in me.<br />
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Last summer a very dear friend reminded me that </div>
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I am not here to learn how to be me. </div>
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I am here to remember and recognize who I already am. </div>
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I am grateful for the freedom that lies in knowing that I don't have to depend on anything other than me. I am enough. </div>
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I have written more about my beliefs in <a href="http://silveroceanjewelry.blogspot.no/2013/06/my-creed.html" target="_blank">this</a> blogpost. </div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FMZCan5XvdM/VSv3CPqdO7I/AAAAAAAAMmY/BEOfzvjy1CA04fywIj6qbGhKr5vevOnZgCPcB/s1600/DSC_9313%2BSigveheart3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FMZCan5XvdM/VSv3CPqdO7I/AAAAAAAAMmY/BEOfzvjy1CA04fywIj6qbGhKr5vevOnZgCPcB/s320/DSC_9313%2BSigveheart3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-2429426996500087322017-04-03T23:21:00.000+02:002017-04-03T23:27:54.809+02:00Vilja Marie's big day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #660000;">April 2, 2017 was my granddaughter Vilja Marie's christening day. </span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000;">It was a day to celebrate her arrival to her life on this earth,</span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000;">and she is already a huge joy and blessing to all who love her.</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"><span style="color: #660000; font-family: inherit;"><span style="letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;">6 years ago I made the gown for her eldest brother Helmer. In order to symbolise continuity, the tulle layer covering the gown is made from Hilde Marie's bridal vail. In our tradition it's called a christening gown, although for our family the christening aspect bears no significance. However, celebrating rites of passage has been significant to humans for thousands and thousands of years, and the birth rite is one of them. </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000;">Vilja Marie has two very proud big brothers.</span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hvkNK5nZvlM/WOK1Z0SPCUI/AAAAAAAANRE/QFbGjkeL7vwtrkBP8e08xXOf2ZpUhyaXgCLcB/s1600/DSC_7775.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-hvkNK5nZvlM/WOK1Z0SPCUI/AAAAAAAANRE/QFbGjkeL7vwtrkBP8e08xXOf2ZpUhyaXgCLcB/s400/DSC_7775.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #660000;">Helmer got to pour the water into the christening bowl, </span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000;">and Leon got to wipe Vilja Marie's head.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #660000;">I love that they both got to take part in the ceremony.</span></div>
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Three generations of Maries.</div>
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<span style="color: #660000; font-size: x-large;">Gratitude.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-91930197646874550962016-11-04T23:36:00.000+01:002018-05-14T01:56:47.512+02:00My new granddaughter<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;"><b>I am grateful, happy and proud </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">to announce </span></b></span><b style="color: #990000; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">the birth of my </span></b><br />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">granddaughter </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;"><b>Vilja Marie, </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #990000; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;"><b>born on October 22, 2016,</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;"><b>3366 grams and 49 cm.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Vilja Marie is the 5. generation on my maternal side with the name Marie. My paternal grandfather came to Norway from Finland as a young man, and the name Vilja is of finnish origin. The finnish meaning of the name is goodness/kindness and riches; in norwegian the word 'vilje' means willpower. My Finnish great-grandmother's name was also Maria. There's a lot of ancestry in her name :-)</span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dukwyQ8656U/WB0JKxqWGzI/AAAAAAAANMs/oqLf8RishbUHcQaW2l6JSqigpZLO1rE4QCEw/s1600/Viljamarie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dukwyQ8656U/WB0JKxqWGzI/AAAAAAAANMs/oqLf8RishbUHcQaW2l6JSqigpZLO1rE4QCEw/s640/Viljamarie.jpg" width="494" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-71859934213607380332016-02-15T14:40:00.000+01:002016-02-15T16:10:22.975+01:00What if it was easy?<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Norsk tekst under bildet.</span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm not saying that life is easy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We can't control a lot of what happens to us. </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But we definitely can control how we deal with it. </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We get to choose positivity or negativity, and I'm sure we all know which is better for us. </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">We can set our minds to hard or easy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">My word for 2016 is EASY, </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">and I have already experienced that thinking something is easy really works.</span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">But then there are some days when I don't want things to be easy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It's like I want and need to feel the struggle.</span></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">So, so what if I sometimes choose to stay in the pit for just a little while? To </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">acknowledge my losses, to </span><span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">feel my pain and my grief. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">For me, this is an important part of the process, to know that I'm not sweeping my feelings under an imaginary carpet. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">To face my grief head on. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">Not all the time, but every now and then. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">And then, to tell myself that, "yes, what happened to you is hard, but that doesn't mean your whole life from now on has to be hard." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">And I can tell myself that I get to choose when and what has to be hard or easy. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; text-align: justify;">And no, this process is neither easy nor automatic. It's a continual recommitment. It's hard work, and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But for the times when it does work, life gets a little bit easier, and that makes it worth it. </span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6nAMPrOojG0/VsHD5hhg0LI/AAAAAAAANDs/h0LtGf58bV4/s1600/DSC_4307easycover%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6nAMPrOojG0/VsHD5hhg0LI/AAAAAAAANDs/h0LtGf58bV4/s640/DSC_4307easycover%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Jeg sier ikke at livet er lett.<br />
Mye av det som skjer med oss kan vi ikke kontrollere.<br />
Men vi kan kontrollere hvordan vi håndterer det.<br />
Vi kan selv velge mellom å være negative eller positive, og vi vet vel godt hva som er best for oss.<br />
Vi kan bestemme om det skal være vanskelig eller lett.<br />
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Mitt ord for 2016 er LETT,<br />
og jeg har allerede sett at å tenke at noe er lett faktisk virker.<br />
(Og la meg presisere at med lett mener jeg ikke lettvint.)<br />
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Men så er det noen dager da jeg ikke ønsker at ting skal være lette.<br />
Det er nesten som om jeg ønsker og trenger å føle på kampen.<br />
Så hva gjør det, om jeg av og til velger å bli i avgrunnen en liten stund? For å bekrefte tapene mine, og kjenne på smerten og sorgen.<br />
For meg blir dette en viktig del av prosessen, å vite at jeg ikke feier følelsene mine under det innbilte teppet.<br />
Å stirre sorgen rett i øynene.<br />
Ikke hele tiden, men av og til.<br />
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Og så, å si til meg selv, at "ja, det som har skjedd med deg er vanskelig, men det betyr ikke at resten av livet ditt trenger å være vanskelig."<br />
Og jeg kan fortelle meg selv at jeg må velge når og hva som skal være vanskelig eller lett.<br />
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Og nei, denne prosessen er hverken lett eller automatisk. Det er hardt arbeid. Av og til funker det, og av og til ikke. Men de gangene det funker, gjør det livet litt lettere, og derfor er det verdt det.<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-67294599654177582802015-02-23T14:15:00.001+01:002015-02-23T14:27:15.340+01:00A Rite of Passage - Leon's christening day<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Sunday was Leon’s christening day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A rite of passage is a <span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">ceremony that marks the transition from one phase of life to another.
This was a celebration of the birth and beginning of life for Leon. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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It was an official welcoming to the world, and an introduction
into the local community. This tradition is observed in most communities all
over the world, irrespective of belief systems. It’s a tradition much older
than known religions. It’s a reason for family and friends to come together to
celebrate a new life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p> </o:p><span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Big brother Helmer was King of the Day!</td></tr>
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It was a beautiful, but bittersweet day for me since Sigve
and Geir Espen were not here to celebrate with us. I know they probably watched
and took part from whatever dimension they now exists in, but the pain of
missing them is excruciating, and even in the middle of my flock, the
loneliness without Sigve is palpable. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The day had dual meaning for me. I am in the middle of my
own transition. My status in society, and in my personal life, has changed from
being a wife to being a widdow. I am trying to build a life on this new
foundation. I am trying to learn how to live without Sigve by my side. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-71132459378589323672015-02-02T22:32:00.000+01:002015-02-02T22:59:25.046+01:00Until death would part us<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We were two individuals.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Rooted, confident, independent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We kept approaching, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">approaching and approaching.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It took many ”first sights” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">before love came into the picture,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">until eventually that day came <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">when we allowed ourselves<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">the luxury of saying<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">”I love you”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We loved each other.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There was no doubt.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There was no doubt <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">there was a future for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Together, we were so strong.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We were so together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We were not ”I” and ”I” any more.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It would always be ”us” from now on.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Until death would part us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Together, and between us, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">we created life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Two beautiful children <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">sprang from our love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">They flourished and grew<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">in age and wisdom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">How we loved them!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We kept them close <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">so they could become<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">rooted, confident, independent.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">How we loved them!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The fruits of our love.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We grew too, in age, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and hopefully in wisdom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We aged, and planned to <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">continue to age <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">together<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then the unthinkable day came.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">we had to start grieving together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So totally unthinkable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Death did not yet part you and I,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">but death parted us from </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">our </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">love son.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">So unthinkable and so unbearable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In the midst of all the unthinkable,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">we were still together<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">to share that unbearable grief.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Together we managed to bear the unbearable<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">because we reminded eachother that he was loved.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, so loved!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Our remaining love daughter,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">with her own sibling grief, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">became our rock and support.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Two grandsons joined us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Even before they arrived<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">they were the apple of our eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">How we loved them, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">our prides and joys.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Much too soon,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">the next unthinkable day came.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I had to say goodbye to you,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">the love of my life </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">when </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">death came barging in and said,</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">your contract is fulfilled,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I have to part you.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Again it was unthinkable and unbearable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We had planned to grow old together!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But there is no arguing with death.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That afternoon <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">you drew your last breath,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and then you were on the other side,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">where I could not follow.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We, who for 34 years <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">had been together through thick and thin,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">were no longer together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am left here - alone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Our love daughter </span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">with her own daddy</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> grief,</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">is still my rock and support.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, how we loved you,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and how I continue to love you!</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Our grandsons are still my pride and joy.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">How I love them!</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But a large part of this grief is only mine.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You will forever remain </span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">in </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">this torn apart heart of mine.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">You, the love of my life.</span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">* * * * * * * * *</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kYpOBoycYa8/VM_nZXSFxPI/AAAAAAAAMfw/_bvteNivEDA/s1600/DSC_3542%2B%2Btogether.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kYpOBoycYa8/VM_nZXSFxPI/AAAAAAAAMfw/_bvteNivEDA/s1600/DSC_3542%2B%2Btogether.jpg" height="400" width="307" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></span></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-35762922470959975892014-12-24T01:10:00.002+01:002014-12-24T01:14:15.707+01:00Christmases past and present<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
December 23rd is called “Little Christmas Eve” here since we
celebrate the evening of the 24<sup>th</sup> as our Big Christmas (Christmas
Day is not that much of a deal over here, we’ve already had our presents).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Sigve and I spent 33 Christmas’es together. First it was
just us, then in 1982 Geir Espen joined us, and in 1985 Hilde Marie had also
arrived. Over the years we alternated between Kristiansand (with my parents),
Bømlo (with Sigve’s parents), by ourselves in Stavanger and later in Bømlo. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Quite early in our young family’s life we decided that we
wanted to create our own Christmas traditions, in our own home, marrying each
of our traditions. We also decided that it was easier for grown-ups to drive
for 4-6 hours than it was for us and 2 kids to do the same. So whoever wanted
to come and join us were welcome to do so, and we spent many lovely family
Christmas Eves as a nuclear and extended family. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In later years, after our parent had left us, we were back
to the four of us. One year it was even just Geir Espen, Sigve and I, when
Hilde Marie and Jon Helge spent Christmas Eve with her new in-laws. Other years Hilde Marie joined us if Jon Helge had to work on Christmas Eve. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p>Christmas 2011 was the last time that Geir Espen was with us
for the holidays. I am so grateful that I have so many photos from those days.
Helmer had joined us, and Geir Espen loved being an uncle. Sigve’s cancer was
gone, and he was well. Such happy days.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Geir Espen died on July 14, 2012.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Christmas 2012. Our first Christmas without Geir Espen. How do you live through something like that? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We had already realized that our lives had to go on, and the only way they could go on was in a good way. Nothing, and nothing else made sense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Christmas 2014. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Facebook keeps telling me that 2014 was a great year for me.
What do they know.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Although, in many ways they are right. Sigve and I always
enjoyed spending time together. 33+ years of friendship and marriage creates a
familiarity, a closeness, a togetherness that settled in our bones. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We moved from Bømlo to Tysnes to be closer to Hilde Marie
and her family. We both loved the everyday closeness to Helmer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Helmer is the grandchild that Sigve was afraid he would
never get to meet. Just before Christmas 2009, when he got the leukemia
diagnosis, Sigve said that if this was the end, his only regret was that he
might not get to be a grandfather. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Then he went through the chemo and the stem cell transplant,
and he was ok, and in February 2011 Helmer arrived. They developed an awesomely
strong bond. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In January 2014 we learned that a new grandchild was on it’s
way. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In February 2014 Sigve and I went on a 15 day holiday to
Malta, a place we had wanted to go back to ever since we spent one day there
during a cruise. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
We have travelled a lot over the last 15 years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our travels were one of Sigve’s main items of
gratefulness at his diagnosis in 2009. That we had seized the opportunities
that came along. That we had not said, we’ll do it when we retire. We have
traveled the world, and we have loved it. Europe, the United States, South
America, Asia, Australia, and many cruises. On our own, and with friends. We have loved it. Sigve
had not done any travelling when we met. I was already a globetrotter. And he
thanked me many times for turning him on to travelling. The one item on our
bucket list that we didn’t make was Iceland, but I think he can go there now,
any time he wants. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Then on August 28, Leon arrived, 2,5 weeks premature. I
don’t believe in a controlling god, but I think this was meant to be. Sigve got
to spend time with Leon during his course of chemo. Leon smiled at Sigve, and
grabbed his finger tightly. This warmed his heart. I think Sigve knew the road
ahead. He told me, this one will be a grandma’s boy.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Sigve died on October 30, 2014.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Christmas 2014. My first Christmas without Sigve. How do I
live through it? I have already realized that my life has to go on, and it has
to go on in a good way. Nothing, and nothing else makes sense. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Generation follows generation. The newest generation that
Sigve loved and I love so much. I will follow up to the best of my ability. At
the moment I am crushed, but I know I will prevail. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Shortly after his death, Sigve came to a friend of ours and
said, don’t worry about Inger-Marie, she’s tough, she’ll be ok. This comforts
me, and I know it’s true, even though it reduces me to tears as I write it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Sigve, the love of my life, I don’t know how I can live
without you, and yet I know that I can. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ll love you forever!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F-BcgiMDPj4/VJn9rsj1plI/AAAAAAAAMeQ/vkGPD-RPW-A/s1600/DSCF4929%2B1980.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-F-BcgiMDPj4/VJn9rsj1plI/AAAAAAAAMeQ/vkGPD-RPW-A/s1600/DSCF4929%2B1980.jpg" height="285" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">1980</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2013</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KyGT2RuO9U4/VJoDS8B5QBI/AAAAAAAAMeg/cBvRFKez1Tk/s1600/DSC_2070%2Bokt14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KyGT2RuO9U4/VJoDS8B5QBI/AAAAAAAAMeg/cBvRFKez1Tk/s1600/DSC_2070%2Bokt14.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">In hospital October 2014</td></tr>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a></div>
Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-36248195156209378582014-11-04T01:55:00.000+01:002014-11-04T01:56:08.410+01:00Sigve's final hours....<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>My beloved husband,</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>my best friend and soulmate </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>for more than 33 years </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-large;"><b>Sigve</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>born October 14. 1955</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;"><b>died at 2.30 pm on October 30. 2014</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
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These last days have been like a perpetual roller coaster. I still can't believe it.</div>
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Here is a recount of what happened: </div>
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<br /></div>
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This was an acute and aggressive kind of cancer, and treatment started the day after the diagnosis was confirmed, there was no time to wait. The acute stage starts when there are 20% immature cells in the blood stream, Sigve had 59% when it was picked up in a blood test. </div>
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In order to beat the new cancer Sigve was given high dosages of chemo for a week to hopefully kill off the cancer cells. </div>
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In the process it would also knock out his bone marrow and his immune defense system, and then it was supposed to rebuild itself, hopefully cancer free. </div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
However, he did not get to that stage. While his immune defense system was knocked out, he contracted severe pneumonia and sepsis. </div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
On Wednesday, Oct. 29, he started having respiratory problems. He was outfitted with an oxygen mask, and was moved to an Intensive Care Unit where they had one on one staff. </div>
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This happened around 2 pm, and he was still sitting up in bed and posting on Facebook. </div>
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The possibility of him having to be on a respirator if things got worse, possibly some time the next morning, was mentioned. But during the next 2 hours his condition deteriorated badly, and he had to be put on the respirator immediately. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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We got to spend a few minutes with him before he was given a full anesthetic and intubated. By then his breathing was very laborious, and he couldn't speak much. When they removed the oxygen mask, his blood oxygen saturation immediately dropped to 60-70 %. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
So we got to say a few words of goodbye, and sadly this became the last time Hilde Marie and I spoke to Sigve, his last conscious moments. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
The sepsis that had set in caused the vein walls to droop, letting blood seep into the surrounding tissue. With a very low platelet count, his body couldn't stop the hemorrhaging. This loss of blood from the veins then caused the blood pressure to drop too. </div>
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<br /></div>
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The pneumonia made it difficult to get air fully into the lungs, so at one point they decided to turn him over on his stomach, to try to expand the lungs. But when he was turned over, a lot of blood came up, and it turned out the fluid retention in the lungs was actually hemorrhaging. An anesthetics specialist came in and looked into the lungs with a scope, and gave adrenalin directly into the lung. This slowed down and eventually stopped the hemorrhaging.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So the night was spent administering medications to balance blood pressure, oxygen saturation, hemorrhaging and a lot more. Blood tests were taken all the time and he was hooked up to all kinds of equipment to monitor everything that was going on in his body. Porters were running back and forth to the lab, delivering blood for analysis, and bringing back refills of platelets, plasma, antibiotics, anything he needed. His room was full of doctors and nurses all night, and we are confident that everything that could be done was done. </div>
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In the morning things seemed a bit calmer, but he was weakening all the time. We spent the time sitting with him, stroking his skin, talking, to somehow let him know we were there.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
At around 1 pm they had to turn him back over on his back again, to try to get some of that same turning effect, and they needed to do an ultrasound scan of his heart. We had to leave the room, and they told us the turn might be too much for him, but it was all they had left to try. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
By now his heart was barely beating, only blood pressure increasing medications were holding up any kind of blood pressure, and his lungs were too damaged to breathe on their own. We were let back in, to sit with him again, to take our time for our final goodbye. </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qFohgEEAyic/VFgi_O_3zYI/AAAAAAAAMb4/X00nJ3JfGHg/s1600/IMG_0711%2Bhands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qFohgEEAyic/VFgi_O_3zYI/AAAAAAAAMb4/X00nJ3JfGHg/s1600/IMG_0711%2Bhands.jpg" height="353" width="400" /></a></div>
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Then they gradually turned off the medication flow, turned down and eventually turned off the respirator. Within a very few minutes his heart stopped beating, and at 2.30 pm on Thursday, October 30, Sigve was dead.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
My darling, the love of my life, my husband for 33 years, was no more. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
24 hours earlier he had been sitting up in bed. It was, and still is just surreal.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I am grateful for having had the honor of being Sigve's wife for 33 years and 3 and a half months.</div>
<br />
<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-21743750251894776462014-10-28T17:53:00.002+01:002014-10-28T17:53:49.708+01:00Enjoying life<div style="text-align: justify;">
I was wondering what to blog about today, as not much is happening, other than waiting. So I asked Sigve what he thinks about while lying in bed, ....waiting. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
His reply was, "I don't really think big deep thoughts; I do what I always do, enjoy life". Says the man who at that moment was waiting for a higher level pain relief medication for the intense mouth pain. </div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I guess that says it all. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pfeRwxxqdQ4/VE_CxG1osTI/AAAAAAAAMbI/SRUmLpegXbQ/s1600/DSC_2322%2Bhangman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pfeRwxxqdQ4/VE_CxG1osTI/AAAAAAAAMbI/SRUmLpegXbQ/s1600/DSC_2322%2Bhangman.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Hanging out with Hangman.</div>
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Here is proof that Sigve is starting to lose hair:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mbtWil05FOc/VE_IAagrIDI/AAAAAAAAMbg/nWF9hiDcwew/s1600/DSC_2066%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mbtWil05FOc/VE_IAagrIDI/AAAAAAAAMbg/nWF9hiDcwew/s1600/DSC_2066%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.JPG" height="317" width="400" /></a></div>
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Two weeks ago</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SsVSZyqSaG8/VE_IAStr2uI/AAAAAAAAMbk/clTepuZnW7Q/s1600/DSC_2322%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SsVSZyqSaG8/VE_IAStr2uI/AAAAAAAAMbk/clTepuZnW7Q/s1600/DSC_2322%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.JPG" height="343" width="400" /></a></div>
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Today</div>
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Apart from all that, it's coming down in buckets outside.</div>
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It's seriously autumn.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XYLS7fAaTEY/VE_Ecofw-nI/AAAAAAAAMbU/FpX32JM9maE/s1600/DSC_1863%2Bh%C3%B8stregn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XYLS7fAaTEY/VE_Ecofw-nI/AAAAAAAAMbU/FpX32JM9maE/s1600/DSC_1863%2Bh%C3%B8stregn.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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I am grateful for pain relief medications.</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background: transparent; border: 0 !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-51820181139312680002014-10-27T18:17:00.001+01:002014-10-27T18:17:49.205+01:00"The doctors..."<div style="text-align: justify;">
"The doctors" is a term I use a lot these days. The doctors are doing this, the doctors are saying that. When I say "The doctors", I get this diffuse vision in my head of a host of doctors hovering. Just hovering. Blank faces and white coats. Funny really.</div>
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Sigve's biggest, and really only (other than some diarrhea), discomfort is his mouth soreness. He can only just still swallow pills, but the water still stings. So he gets IV nutrition. Nurses keep asking him if he could try and eat something, but he can't bear the thought of even trying. They have increased the pain killer dosage, and that gives some relief.</div>
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Other than that he's had a refill of blood (2 bags), platelets and fluids with added minerals. </div>
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Sigve's sister Gerd, who was his stem cell donor came to visit today, and we all spent a few lovely hours together.</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XAcphjdwebg/VE58iqIWX5I/AAAAAAAAMao/G-1waDRX8kI/s1600/DSC_3229%2Bh%C3%B8st%2Bkopi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XAcphjdwebg/VE58iqIWX5I/AAAAAAAAMao/G-1waDRX8kI/s1600/DSC_3229%2Bh%C3%B8st%2Bkopi.jpg" height="217" width="400" /></a></div>
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I am grateful for family.</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-68503674514291839322014-10-26T23:24:00.001+01:002014-10-26T23:25:34.026+01:00Isolation<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sigve's immune defense system has hit rock bottom, i.e. it is virtually non existent. So now he is in isolation. However, it's a different regime from last time since there is no stem cell transplant involved. It means we don't have to dress up in protective frocks, masks and gloves. We "just" have to be healthy. </div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">The high temperatures he had last week and earlier this week could either be caused by infections or it could be a chemo fever, which some people get. But the chemo course was over on Wednesday, so now it's almost certainly due to an infection. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">At the moment his temperature stays around 38,5C and the CRP is back up to around 260. His antibiotic was changed to a different type again yesterday. Since there are no countable leukocytes, there's no way to know where the infection is located. It's a matter of trying different kinds of antibiotics until there is a hit and something works. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Since Sigve can't talk much, it's hard to have deep conversations, and anyway he often dozes off. So we mostly just sit there, with iPads or other things to occupy ourselves with. But sometimes we do talk, and our conversations include topics like "what a wonderful invention peeing in a bottle is", "I might need a new diaper" and "I just dosed off and had the weirdest dream, and when I woke up I heard voices". It certainly keeps us entertained.</span><br />
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I just spoke to Sigve on the phone to say good night. He sounded really good, and he said he felt good too, the best he's done in days. :-)</div>
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I am grateful for our solid and strong relationship ❤️<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-21946924992035695862014-10-26T02:36:00.000+02:002014-10-26T01:36:57.679+02:00In all (un)fairness....<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Life is unfair. It is unfair that I was born in Norway. It is unfair that I have a safe and comfortable home, nice clothes to keep me warm, more than enough to eat, a great family, great friends, and I have been healthy most of my life. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">A long row of unfairness. A long row of Grand Prizes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">When Geir Espen started having health problems at age 12, I thought how unfair that was to him. But what if we compare his situation to that of disease ridden, starving children in other parts of the world, then what is fair? At least he had access to all the free medical care he needed. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then Sigve, at 55, got leukemia, and went through a very dramatic treatment. He had never been sick at all before, so was it fair that his time had come? Again, all the free medical help he needed was there for him.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">At age 29, Geir Espen died. I felt the unfairness. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And now Sigve has to go through this dramatic treatment all over again, and I'm really feeling how unfair that is to him. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Again I sit here and watch the man I love not being able to eat or speak properly because his mouth hurts so badly. He can barely drink water. He has lost control of bodily functions, and has to wear a diaper. From time to time when his body shakes from the rising temperature, he wraps up under two duvets, and doses off. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So what is fair, and what is unfair? I guess it's all relative.</span><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FQicN0G9X0s/UQw9srozsyI/AAAAAAAAEjw/B1Yi_kPS0jY/s1600/DSC_8193.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FQicN0G9X0s/UQw9srozsyI/AAAAAAAAEjw/B1Yi_kPS0jY/s1600/DSC_8193.JPG" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And in between, when the temperature drops, Sigve feels better. Fortunately he has his iPad, and he writes his poetry, and when you see his activity on Facebook, you wouldn't think there was anything wrong with him at all. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Later this evening a nurse came in and asked if Sigve wanted some pain killers for his mouth, he just had to ask. I told her that she was dealing with someone who never used to take pain killers before in his life, and we hadn't even thought of asking. Anyway, she brought him a pill, and 15 minutes later, his mouth actually felt better, and his speech was clearer. Yeay!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm grateful for nurses who show initiative :-)</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-57780705840980568962014-10-25T01:07:00.000+02:002014-10-25T01:07:23.603+02:00Thursday and Friday<div style="text-align: justify;">
On Thursday Sigve's mouth soreness increased to the level where all he could eat was soup, and today not even that, so now he's on liquid IV nutrition. When he closes his lips and then opens them again, it's like ripping up velcro, so a nurse gave him some vaseline to put on and inside his lips, and that has helped. Somehow he still manages to swallow pills though, but drinking water stings. He also keeps rinsing with the Caphosol. Speaking is obviously painful too, and it's hard to make out what he's saying on the phone. </div>
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On Thursday, uncontrollable diarrhea set in, so now the time has come for diapers. </div>
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Sigve's temperature has been going up and down, and today it went back up to over 39C/102F, so lots of blood tests were done again. Every time it spikes to over 39C, they do blood cultures, one from each arm, and one from Hicky.</div>
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I have been home since Wednesday evening, and I'm going back to Bergen tomorrow midday. I had a bit of diarrhea too on Thursday, and that meant I had to stay away from the hospital for 48 hours, so I just settled in here, and enjoyed my alone time.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Yli0iSBGBjE/VErYmTkmr2I/AAAAAAAAMZQ/blxy9-t8E2c/s1600/DSC_2167%2Bhender.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Yli0iSBGBjE/VErYmTkmr2I/AAAAAAAAMZQ/blxy9-t8E2c/s1600/DSC_2167%2Bhender.jpg" height="268" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm grateful for good night's sleeps every night.</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-86401204129593475422014-10-23T00:38:00.001+02:002014-10-23T15:21:27.726+02:00Last day of chemo.<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: auto; text-align: justify; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: auto; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Sigve was having the best day since he came in. He woke up early, got up, showered and did some exercises. His appetite is a bit down, due to increasing mouth soreness, but a nurse gave him a loca</span>l anesthesia diluted in cream to relieve the soreness during eating. Food is important in order to keep his strength up. Then around 2 pm his temperature started rising, and he got frost rushes, so he went back to bed, and I went to pick up Hilde Marie and Leon. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">When we got back he was ok again, and we spent a lovely afternoon and evening together. Hilde Marie's friend Randi came to visit too. Very nice, it's been a while since we have seen her. </span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d8Zli0lfWQE/VEgw_9af5cI/AAAAAAAAMZA/r2HzC2rh1_s/s1600/haukeland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-d8Zli0lfWQE/VEgw_9af5cI/AAAAAAAAMZA/r2HzC2rh1_s/s1600/haukeland.jpg" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">This evening I drove back to Tysnes for 1 or 2 nights. If everything still goes well with Sigve, I'll be here for 2 nights. I feel, and know that taking care of myself is important, but it's not easy. Staying away from the hospital, however hard it is, is also self care. My mind knows this. I am trying to teach it to my heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Now we wait for when he has to be in isolation.</span></div>
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Gratitude for a home I can call my own :-)<br />
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-89411514963704972792014-10-21T21:31:00.000+02:002014-10-21T21:32:48.729+02:00Flashbacks<div style="text-align: justify;">
At the end of "our" corridor there's is a panoramic view of Bergen city. But if you don't look that far, you look right down on the children's hospital. In the summer of 1995 we spent two weeks there with Geir Espen, after he was diagnosed first with Addison and then with diabetes. He was just 2 weeks short of turning 13, and facing a lifetime of giving himself shots several times a day. We were all terrified, but in need of putting on a brave face and assuring him and ourselves that we'd get through this together. The following 17 years we went back for frequent check-ups, first to the children's clinic, and later to the regular clinic, and went through countless emergency hospital admissions.</div>
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I looked back at some of the blog posts I wrote 4 years ago, when Sigve was here for the stem cell transplant, and noticed that at one point I visited Geir Espen in the ICU at Stord hospital on my way back to Bergen to visit Sigve at Haukeland. We certainly have spent a lot of time in hospitals over the years.</div>
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Today has been quiet and peaceful. Sigve had a good night without any fever, but he keeps waking up because he needs to fill those bottles, so he doesn't get the deep restful kind of sleep. </div>
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This afternoon they started the last dosage of chemo, and it is set to flow in over 24 hours. Today's visiting doctor estimated that he will need to go into isolation some time tomorrow or Wednesday. </div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--DHQBkVXJOU/Ua5YV1kTSxI/AAAAAAAAGes/w4jx-tthNxo/s1600/DSC_3445.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--DHQBkVXJOU/Ua5YV1kTSxI/AAAAAAAAGes/w4jx-tthNxo/s1600/DSC_3445.JPG" height="261" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-27154776415677959512014-10-20T22:19:00.001+02:002014-10-20T22:19:36.209+02:00Sunday and Monday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
Yesterday, Sunday, was a generally good day, after a strenuous night. During the night Sigve's temperature rose, and he got those frost rushes that really shake your body. The night nurse claimed she couldn't find any blankets or extra duvets, which of course is crap. He got a hot water bottle, that was it, and didn't help very much, and she went off duty without even telling anyone what Sigve needed. We complained about this to the day staff. When the day nurse came, she really took hold of the situation, got him his big woolen sweater, woolen socks and an extra thick duvet, and raised the temperature in the room. So when I got there, he was feeling a lot better. He had a big lunch, and then Hilde Marie and Leon came to visit too.</div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In the afternoon Hilde Marie and I put together a food list with food that we are convinced is the best diet for a cancer patient: no sugar, no gluten, lots of vegetables, pure protein sources, no prefabricated stuff, just to mention some, and it was accepted. It remains to be seen if they manage to follow it up. Regular hospital food complies with official dietary guidelines, and we don't really agree with all of them. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">So last night, in stead of sandwiches he got smoked salmon and scrambled eggs, yummy and healthy. </span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d-HPGcWtLBc/VEVcRnT5qbI/AAAAAAAAMXw/mMRO9SQtvp0/s1600/DSC_2200%2B7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d-HPGcWtLBc/VEVcRnT5qbI/AAAAAAAAMXw/mMRO9SQtvp0/s1600/DSC_2200%2B7.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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Last night was a good one, no temperature, but with all the fluids Sigve receives, he wakes up every hour to fill a bottle. Frequently interrupted sleep gives reduced sleep quality. Then in the early hours of morning his temperature rose again, and he also had a very low blood count and platelet count so they gave him refills of both. All this made him very tired. When Hilde Marie, Leon and I arrived around noon, he was still asleep. We woke him up, got him to put on his hearing aids and glasses, and that increased contact with the world worked wonders. During the next hours his temp sank, and the rest of the day was good. </div>
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Today's highlight for Sigve was when Leon, </div>
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on his arm, smiled many big smiles at him.</div>
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These days Helmer can't visit; Sigve can't leave the room and children between 1 and 14 are not allowed into this ward, they are likely to bring contaminating diseases from kindergarden and school. This is hard on both of them, they have that very special bond.</div>
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An important part of Sigve's treatment is rinsing his mouth with Caphosol 4 times a day to prevent fungus infections in the mouth cavity from the chemo. This worked very well last time, he had very little mouth soreness. Hoping for the same result now.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ufjstvKywvw/VEVcSO4bHvI/AAAAAAAAMX8/82t5ZpOM75w/s1600/DSC_2259%2B9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ufjstvKywvw/VEVcSO4bHvI/AAAAAAAAMX8/82t5ZpOM75w/s1600/DSC_2259%2B9.jpg" height="400" width="281" /></a></div>
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Hangman is busy these days. Sigve gets fluids most of the time, and antibiotics, and today there was the blood and platelet refills, and then the chemo from 4 pm. Hicky has 3 valves, and all of them were in use a lot today. </div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c33aPpBPP4k/VEVcT6V3qtI/AAAAAAAAMYI/BwP32s7r5us/s1600/DSC_2260%2B10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-c33aPpBPP4k/VEVcT6V3qtI/AAAAAAAAMYI/BwP32s7r5us/s1600/DSC_2260%2B10.jpg" height="400" width="132" /></a></div>
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I'm grateful for the enormous resources that our society spends on trying to save Sigve's life. </div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-22001473218162235012014-10-19T01:02:00.000+02:002014-10-19T01:02:41.025+02:00Chemo day 4<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sigve didn't sleep very well last night, his temperature went up again, and he was freezing a lot. Eventually blankets, hot water bottles and rising the temperature in the room helped, but when I got there around noon, he was still very tired. So I stayed for a little while, and then set off to explore an alternative lifestyle fair. </div>
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I took part in a session of sound therapy, which was awesome, and relaxing. Listening to tibetan gongs and sound bowls, didgeridoo, tiny bells, drums, chanting, conks and a lot more was like bathing in sound. As our bodies consist of 78% water, it has an amazing ability to receive vibrations. Like acupuncture that stimulates the body's energy flow, vibrations can affect the body circulation, loosen up tension and blockages, and help relieve stress. I felt really refreshed afterwards. </div>
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Back at the hospital Sigve was feeling a lot better, he ate well and his temp was back to normal. So it looks like the new antibiotic is doing it's job. And still no side effects from the chemo. We like :-)</div>
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Later Brita, Ketil and Kari Anne came to visit, and we got a phone call from Paul, Jorge and some of the gang who had spent the day in Barcelona, on their Mediterranean cruise, the one that we had planned to be on too. </div>
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Still looking good, and smiling :-)</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q6KrGwiFPqA/VELpP_u58lI/AAAAAAAAMXg/fI4VsfaKl3w/s1600/Sigve.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Q6KrGwiFPqA/VELpP_u58lI/AAAAAAAAMXg/fI4VsfaKl3w/s1600/Sigve.jpg" height="366" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="text-align: justify;">I'm grateful for distractions :-)</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-68630450258050866492014-10-17T20:30:00.001+02:002014-10-17T20:30:40.595+02:00Some commotion<div style="text-align: justify;">
Just after I arrived at the hospital today, Sigve started running a fever. He had been warned that an infection might be on the way as his CRP (C-reactive protein, an infection indicator) had risen from 43 yesterday to 58 today. </div>
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So when his temperature quickly rose to 39C/102F, there was a bit of a commotion. His doctor and nurses came in. A biochemist (with two students in tow) turned up for blood culture tests, one from each arm. Apparently the clue is to test blood from different areas of his body to better pick up on where the infection is. Afterwards a nurse drew more blood from Hicky. There is always a danger of infection in Hicky's entry or exit wound, so she did a bacteria test from around the exit hole, although it looks peaceful at the moment. </div>
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Sigve is already on preventive antibiotics, but now they're being changed to a more broad spectered kind. Due to the fever he is now in isolation.</div>
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This photo shows Hicky's exit wound. The entry point is under the bandage on his neck. Hicky is used for everything that needs to be administered intravenously, and for blood tests. </div>
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A little later two doctors came in and said that one of the patients in the room he was in the first two nights had tested positive for whooping cough, so Sigve had to be tested too, and he will be given preventive treatment. </div>
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Sigve's appetite is still good, and he's feeling ok, but more tired. Otherwise things are going mostly by the book.</div>
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* * * * * </div>
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Receiving a leukemia diagnosis and having surgery </div>
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is not exactly the way you want to celebrate a 59th birthday</div>
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(which was on Tuesday).</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1C-OKbcaIgE/VEEtdGaQfkI/AAAAAAAAMXM/4xHf7uY7c8s/s1600/DSC_2040%2B5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1C-OKbcaIgE/VEEtdGaQfkI/AAAAAAAAMXM/4xHf7uY7c8s/s1600/DSC_2040%2B5.jpg" height="400" width="265" /></a></div>
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However, this is:</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BUdrdhaXM8k/VEEtcRdEwhI/AAAAAAAAMXI/EOtwK3QUGCA/s1600/DSC_2095%2B6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BUdrdhaXM8k/VEEtcRdEwhI/AAAAAAAAMXI/EOtwK3QUGCA/s1600/DSC_2095%2B6.jpg" height="316" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-color: transparent; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-19343254064275136272014-10-17T00:09:00.002+02:002014-10-17T20:32:17.778+02:00Together<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sigve was given chemo from 4 pm yesterday afternoon to 10 am this morning, and then again from 4 pm today until 4 am tomorrow. He hasn't experienced any reactions to the chemo so far, no nausea, and he feels fine. </div>
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So Hilde Marie, Helmer, Leon and Britt (Jon Helge's mom) came up from Tysnes today, and we all spent a lovely day together. Being together is our most important activity now. </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5zrUnq6iEKw/VEBAv7K3duI/AAAAAAAAMWo/gshrUvfrnxA/s1600/DSC_2129%2B4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5zrUnq6iEKw/VEBAv7K3duI/AAAAAAAAMWo/gshrUvfrnxA/s1600/DSC_2129%2B4.jpg" height="400" width="377" /></a></div>
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I'm so grateful for our family, immediate and extended :-)</div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-36570127465430802002014-10-16T00:56:00.000+02:002014-10-16T12:01:23.615+02:00A slap in the face and a shot in the back<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sigve has been diagnosed with cancer, again. This time it's called <span style="line-height: 22px;">Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). "</span><span style="line-height: 22px;">The word "acute" in acute myelogenous leukemia denotes the disease's rapid progression. It's called myelogenous leukemia because it affects a group of white blood cells called the myeloid cells, which normally develop into the various types of mature blood cells, such as red blood cells, white blood cells and platelets." </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">Rapid progression is the key word here. This cancer has developed over the last month or less because a month ago Sigve had his 4 year check-up including a bone marrow test, and nothing abnormal was found then. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">Sigve, Hilde Marie and I had a meeting with the doctor today, and were told that there is a treatment, which will be tried. It's a strong course of chemo, designed to kill off the cancer cells, knock out the bone marrow, and then let it rebuild itself, and if it works, all is well. There is a slight chance that this will work, otherwise there would be no point in even trying. But, and he stressed this,</span></span><span style="line-height: 22px;"> the chances of success are very slim.</span><span style="line-height: 22px;"> If unsuccessful, it's a matter of giving a milder, slightly life prolonging and palliative treatment for however many months it may take. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 22px;">Time is of the essence; he was transferred to Haukeland Hospital on Monday, tests done immediately, the diagnosis confirmed and Hicky, a <a href="http://silveroceanjewelry.blogspot.no/2010/08/introducing-hicky.html" target="_blank">Hickman catheter</a> was surgically inserted on </span></span><span style="line-height: 22px;">Tuesday</span><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 23px; text-align: start;">, and </span><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 22px;">treatment started Wednesday. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 22px;">A week of chemo, 18 hours pr day. Towards the end of the week his immune system will be so low that he will to go into isolation for 2-3 weeks. Infections will occur, and be treated and </span><span style="line-height: 22px;">hopefully </span><span style="font-family: inherit; line-height: 22px;">fought successfully. Only after that time will we know if the treatment has been </span><span style="line-height: 22px;">successful.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 22px;">I am grateful for an observant doctor at Stord Hospital who suspected that something was not right, and did the necessary tests. This condition enters the acute stage when the amount of immature blood cells are at 20%, Sigve is at 59%.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 22px;">These are the hard facts. Turbulent times are ahead of us. We appreciate the love and care that we know will be coming from around the globe from so many dear friends.</span></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-35797254282231952942014-08-30T19:04:00.000+02:002016-11-04T23:59:51.247+01:00A new grandson<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #073763; font-size: x-large;">We are very happy and grateful </span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-size: x-large;">to announce the birth of our second grandchild.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-size: x-large;">At 2948 grams, 49 cm, </span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-size: x-large;">Leon was born around 9 pm on August 28.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-size: x-large;">Everyone are doing well, </span></div>
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<span style="color: #073763; font-size: x-large;">including the proud grandparents :-)</span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DJDWJtmyikk/VAICOBe0FkI/AAAAAAAAMUM/lQzzoM477BQ/s1600/DSC_0185%2Bleon4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="362" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DJDWJtmyikk/VAICOBe0FkI/AAAAAAAAMUM/lQzzoM477BQ/s1600/DSC_0185%2Bleon4.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UZ5Pi4FnLkM/VAICOFldUgI/AAAAAAAAMUg/RNGTJYTvM1c/s1600/DSC_0173%2Bleon3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="396" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-UZ5Pi4FnLkM/VAICOFldUgI/AAAAAAAAMUg/RNGTJYTvM1c/s1600/DSC_0173%2Bleon3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Acppw227PyA/VAICPJ7Z22I/AAAAAAAAMUQ/7Cs6sKR46I4/s1600/DSC_0191%2B-%2BVersion%2B2%2Bleon5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Acppw227PyA/VAICPJ7Z22I/AAAAAAAAMUQ/7Cs6sKR46I4/s1600/DSC_0191%2B-%2BVersion%2B2%2Bleon5.jpg" width="361" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-69258619379722205042014-04-21T02:14:00.000+02:002014-04-21T02:37:38.663+02:00Today<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Today, Easter Sunday 2014</div>
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It was a gorgeous day, </div>
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and I started out with a champagne/strawberry breakfast </div>
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(and bacon & eggs)</div>
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We decided to take our grandson Helmer for a hike in the woods. </div>
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Spring is here, and flowers are popping up everywhere.</div>
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Helmer picked some flowers, and when we passed a small pond,</div>
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he dropped one gently on the water.</div>
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Helmer's loves to wear his square black glasses </div>
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(just play frames),</div>
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just like his big hero Sigve.</div>
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They are inseparable.</div>
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Helmer found this huge sandbox,</div>
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and in his other grandparent's garden </div>
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he played on these balancing ropes.</div>
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I looked through a rusty fence,</div>
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and of course I found some hearts.</div>
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Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-43197164145184115032014-02-10T22:39:00.000+01:002014-02-10T22:39:48.348+01:00Local food<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
Yesterday I ground up 5 kilos of home made minced meat from a "home grown" cow. </div>
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This cow refused to be caught when the outdoor season was over. She took off into the mountains, and lived her happy free range life for a while longer. But eventually it got so cold that it was irresponsible to leave her outside, and since she still refused to be caught, my son-in-law had to shoot her. Fortunately he has access to a fully equipped and licensed slaughter facility because he also hunts and handles deer. Now every freezer in the family is filled up with meat. Can you imagine the amount of meat there is on a fully grown cow? </div>
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This is truly local food, with no additives, and flavored by the great outdoors. We are so lucky and grateful to have access to this kind of food!</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-R8mFS-PNYYE/UvlCJ1s7L0I/AAAAAAAAMLE/hOfqjrc1Ffs/s1600/DSC_8657+navn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-R8mFS-PNYYE/UvlCJ1s7L0I/AAAAAAAAMLE/hOfqjrc1Ffs/s1600/DSC_8657+navn.jpg" height="265" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://www.mylivesignature.com/" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://signatures.mylivesignature.com/85832/ingerm/3e25d516a5306f94968768263ed9ff8e.png" style="border: 0px !important;" /></a>Inger-Mhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16312912766394408963noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7344708109519747151.post-34797517213011915602013-07-20T23:05:00.000+02:002013-07-20T23:05:43.798+02:00Remembering Geir Espen<div style="text-align: justify;">
Today was the last of the recognized traumatic "first anniversaries" since the death of a loved one, in our case the death of our son Geir Espen. Today was one year since his funeral. </div>
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Around midday today the sound of ringing bells from the church across the lake where we had the funeral service, brought back sensations of that day last year. </div>
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Some of our relatives who had arrived the evening before the funeral had expressed a wish to see Geir Espen one last time, and this was arranged for just before the service. </div>
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While there, by his coffin, we were invited by the funeral service representative to perform the traditional last rites for the dead. So Sigve and I proceeded to cover Geir Espen's face with the Face Cloth, symbolizing that no human will remove it before God himself removes it. Then we put the lid on the coffin, tightened the screws, and the six of us who were there carried Geir Espen's body out to the car that would take him to the church for the service. </div>
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It was such a profound moment and act, and all I could think was that one month short of thirty years earlier I had given birth to Geir Espen, and now I had to bury him. </div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;">It's been a strange year </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;">filled with grief for a lost son,</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large;"> and gratitude for a son's life.</span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rVpPcBLYRmU/Uerz9LoEGKI/AAAAAAAAIBA/mGp8yMqdDM8/s1600/DSC_9669.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="341" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rVpPcBLYRmU/Uerz9LoEGKI/AAAAAAAAIBA/mGp8yMqdDM8/s400/DSC_9669.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Some dear friends sent us this lovely poem:</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BQxy8ID23So/Uer6k6IS-XI/AAAAAAAAIBU/eEknhuq0LfI/s1600/SCAN0002+-+versjon+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BQxy8ID23So/Uer6k6IS-XI/AAAAAAAAIBU/eEknhuq0LfI/s400/SCAN0002+-+versjon+2.jpg" width="171" /></a></div>
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